"I don't know what it is, but white people don't stick together in here", Derick tells me. He is referring to the way that when a new Latino or African-American comes onto the block, the other Latinos or African-Americans talk to them and make them feel welcome. A new white guy on the block is ignored.
I think to myself, well naturally because of the institutionalized racism in this country, some minorities have responded with a solidarity that seems foreign to us white people of privilege. But Derick isn't exactly looking very privileged now so I keep my thoughts to myself.
"Even the guards", he continues, "are like that. The Spanish guards treat the Spanish guys better, just like the black guards do. But white guards don't never cut a white dude a break. And the young white guards are all either scared to death of black guys or they are wiggers so they end up kissing their black asses."
In my corporate world of mandated sensitivity and diversity this kind of blunt talk is making me beyond uncomfortable, so I change the subject to the demeanor of various guards.
"Carpenter seems alright though", I say, "like, he's just here to do his job and not mess with anybody."
"Yeah, he's alright", Derick agrees.
When I had arrived back from work and Carpenter asked me how the day was I told him it was good....up until now. "It is a beautiful spring day and the streets are full of lively, happy people, pretty girls showing off, and kids looking towards the end of school and summer break. But, I have to come back here."
"Well I've been here all day in this place, looking at dick and balls while I search guys, so it isn't fun for me either", Carpenter replies.
I jokingly ask "hey, you want to switch places"?
Carpenter, brooding, looks down at me while I hand him my pants to search. "How long do you have here?", he asks. I tell him 90 days. "Well I have been doing this, spending every Saturday here, for 10 years. And I'll probably be here until I retire. Do you really want to switch places with me?"
Point made.
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2 comments:
An acquaintance just sent me a link to your site and I read your postings for the first time this afternoon.
My brother was recently released from prison and his experiences seem to coincide with yours rather strongly. He did 16 months of a 24 sentence for multiple DWI/DUI's and possession. He tried work release but for the issues you've already touched upon (arbitrary denial of access to communication etc.) he lost that job. I'm sure you've heard it many time before but it really could be much worse and 90 days incarceration is generally not life changing in and of itself. Sometimes it helps not to over analyze and just let things happen. Tough to know when to do that and when not to however. Good luck with your time and I hope you feel you can make the best out of a shitty situation.
I am curious as to why you chose not to tell anything about your crime and sentencing. I read your reasons but the truth is people who are inclined to be as judgmental as you noted will do so based upon the fact that you're incarcerated anyway. Personally I should find it helpful to anyone who may wonder onto your site to know (as well as can be conveyed through a website) not only the experience of being incarcerated but to know the reason someone is dehumanized and denied their freedoms. Lacking this context seems like an opportunity lost. It is however your site to do with as you please. You might think about it as time goes on. People are never given 90 days for offenses any sane person would consider to be capital offenses.
bigdaddyjt --
Thanks for your comment. I do agree that 90 days is certainly not the end of the world and it could be far, far worse. The Work Release block is considered the country club part of the prison: vending machines, primarily non-violent offenders, never under real lock-up, and of course potential privilege to go outside to work. I am not looking for sympathy, but just looking to share what I am observing. A lot of my friends were emailing asking me all sorts of questions so this is an easy way to answer.
I am sorry your brother lost his job as a result. I definitely understand how that could happen now that I see it first-hand. My employer has been great about it, and I am really lucky in that regard.
The reason I am not sharing the crime is because I really don't think it matters. If my offense was the same as your brother's, I imagine the comments might be overwhelmed by people who think DUI ought to be a capital offense. I don't want what little time I have free to do these posts spent trying to control arguments about whether the punishment fits the crime.
I may choose to disclose those details later.
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